My Letter To Him

What does he seriously thnk abt himself?
Ouhmygawdd.. First he triggers the idea in me to read it.. Bt then when i have sumthng to say about that fucking thing, i get screwed..
Itz been goin on fr almost a yr nw..(the pressure)
Things jz aint the same anymore.. I wish i had the old us back..
Bt i guess the old us includes the package of having a playboy as my other half..
That!! I dont want! Y can they just let him be?
Y cant he jz be the one i wanna stick with..
Y cant he forget his past n get over them?
Y does he have to annoy me with them?
N the most hurtful thing is..
Y cant he jz try to be mine? :'(

U say ur trying.. Bt heyy, i dun see the efforts u noe..
The only reason i'm being possesive like this is because of what u did! Dun u dare nlame me for that. If u were sincere in d first place, it would have never been like this.
I have another few more days for my exam.. N i gt treated lyk this by u?
N u said u dun wanna distract me? Then what r u duin nw?
Everytime we have a fight, itz because of ur fans, or ur ex's,
Y cant u gt the fucking idea that i'm nt fucking interested!?!?!?!?!?

I have to deal with all this.. Y now? Y me?
Talk abt giving in? If it was about once or twice, itz forgivable.. Nt wen it happens every two weeks..

I already have enough junk to go thru in my life, all i ever asked was sum love and care..
Bt i never got it totally.. I jz wish u would understand.
I accepted ol tose lies u told me.. Hw much more heartache can i take? Where's the love?
I always tell myself not to cry jz because u dun like me crying. Bt the pain is jz too much to take.. It flows by itself..

U found out abt sumthng i din mean to do and gt really upset. And that was jz 1 guy..
I magine wat i go thru wen i find out abt stuff u do.. This is uncountable..
Would u keep ur lies n jz stick to ur promises? Ur AYATS r jz too gud.. I cant really resist myself from them.
I guess its jz cz love is blind? Where's d moral in this? Each tym the pain gets worse..
I hv noone to talk to. I've sactifised so much.. Everythng jz went to the trash. I've lost self respect towards myself. I've lost so many precious things jz for u. My loneliness brings me back to being dreppresed.

I jz really wish u could understand how it is for me.. Ur expectations are to hugh fr me. I'm a normal gurl too.. I have feelings too.. I'm not a fucking doll to jz sit there and smile no matter how much u use me. Dun i even have the ryts to do that? Well.. Nw this fucking hurts okayh.. I jz feel lyk u dun care anymore.

I' not lyk u.. I jz am myself.. I changed so much fr u. N if u gt hurt fr that, think of what u did. But i stil love u :( i always have, n i always will. Pls understand that...


CrUsHeD
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